


There Is Life Again

by SaritAadam



Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: The Original Series, Star Trek: The Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Old Married Couple, old married spirk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-11
Updated: 2020-10-11
Packaged: 2021-03-08 04:20:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,406
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26949613
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SaritAadam/pseuds/SaritAadam
Summary: After another evening when Spock find Jim stargazing and missing his past life, he decides to do something nice for his bondmateWritten for Trektober 2020 day 11: Star
Relationships: James T. Kirk/Spock
Comments: 13
Kudos: 81
Collections: Trektober 2020





	There Is Life Again

The stars shone, filling the ink black sky.

With the city lights and the sea wind, on top of which the clouds cruised, stargazing in San Francisco was near impossible. But this night was clear, and Jim indulged himself. Sitting at the window in the obscurity, in front of the endless dark sea, he could imagine he was sailing it again.

The front door slid open.

"Don't turn the light," he called.

The soft steps of Spock were the only sound in the flat. Jim turned around as the love of his life entered the living room, beautiful in his captain uniform.

“You are stargazing.” It is not a question.

“Will you join me?”

Spock nodded and sat next to Jim. Immediately, two strong arms embraced him, taking him under Admiral Kirk's protection.

“You are missing outer space.” Once again, a statement.

“I am. Do you know a star is forming next to the Khonsu System?”

“I am aware. The USS Reliant is documenting it.”

“Yes. It's going to be visible in three weeks.”

“If I remember correctly, it is believed to be a red star.”

“Do you also remember where it's going to be visible in the sky?”

Without a word, Spock took Jim's hand, and pointed to a spot in the night. The former captain contemplated it.

“But I do not believe it will be visible from San Francisco,” Spock continued. “And even if it is, not before eight years.”

Jim sighed. “Imagine seeing this in real time. It must be a spectacle that ought to make even Bones stop complaining for a moment! And we would have all our science equipment monitoring it, but you would not need it to explain to us what we are witnessing in great details.”

“Am I always in your fantasies of space travel?”

“Always.” Jim set their hands in an ozh'esta. 

Spock looked fondly at his bondmate. After a moment, he felt compelled to make the fantasy a little more realistic. “Jim, you forgot to mention the attack from the Klingons, or the Romulans, or an unknown and hostile life form.”

Jim laughed. “We did run in our share of trouble in our time!” He turned his gaze back to the stars. “Do you think this is what I really miss? More than the exploration?”

“I do not believe you miss one more than the other. You miss all the duties of a Starship's captain.”

“Even though I have more than my share of responsibilities as an admiral? Even though I am lucky to still be working with my friend? To be with you again?”

“Being recognized by Starfleet command and the presence of loved ones. The retirement every officer wishes.”

The word “retirement” made Jim flinch. “So what? Do I just miss the glory of my youth?”

“Jim, you only miss where you truly belong. I already told you and I stand by my statement: you made a mistake, accepting the post of Admiral. It is not fit for you.”

“I know, I know,” Jim sighed. “But what about you, Spock? You are a Captain, but you are stuck on the ground! You know command would let you go on an exploration mission if you wish. Don't you miss space?”

Spock got out of Jim's arms, to better look at him. In the dim light, his eyes were a mirror of the night sky.

“T'hy'la,” his voice was soft. “I belong at your side.”

Jim wanted to push the matter, awkward at the idea of being the only thing keeping Spock on earth. But he knew where this conversation was taking them, at the same place it took them every time they had it. To Gol, to what pushed him to accept the admiralty, to the three years they have been apart, lost and incomplete until they found each other again.

So instead, he smiled, a weaker and sadder smile than he wanted. “You will be stuck on earth for a long time, mister.”

“I am aware of the fact, Admiral.”

Jim took his husband in his arms again. They continued their stargazing in a comfortable silence.

* * *

That nostalgic, longing feeling didn't leave Jim, it never had since his return on earth. But the Admiral knew how to ignore it.

He kept himself busy, monitoring the Kobayashi Maru test, teaching at the academy, getting informed about the latest scientific breakthrough and about the politics of alien worlds, keeping track of the starships across the cosmos.

Coming back from an appointment with Admiral Nogura, he stopped at his Yeoman's desk.

"Any words while I was out?"

"Only one sir. It's from HR."

Jim frowned. "HR? What is it about?"

"I don't know sir. It says it's private."

"Alright, send it on my computer."

He opened the message with apprehension. It was never good news to be contacted by HR out of the blue. But in the end, he was left in confusion. 

He had been approved for a leave. He never asked for one.

Was it a mistake? Did he actually ask but forget about it? Did Bones set him up? But before he could contact HR and investigate, the Yeoman called him.

"Sir, Captain Spock wants to talk to you."

"In visual." The face of his husband appeared on his computer. "Yes, Spock?"

"Did you just receive an answer for a shore leave you didn't ask for?"

"How do you know that?"

"I felt your confusion via our bond."

"How do you know it's because of a shore leave?"

"Please, do not be alarmed. I am the one that requested it."

“What? Why? Why didn't you tell me?”

“The reason for the leave is a surprise, which is also why I didn't warn you.”

“What kind of surprise needs…” He checked the duration of the leaves. “Eight days?”

On the screen, Spock bit his lower lips. Over their bond, Jim felt the Vulcan second guessing himself. He was probably talking louder and more aggressively than he meant to.

“I apologize if my actions were out of line. I had checked our schedules and had not found a reason preventing our leave. But if it upset you, I can-”

“I'm not upset. Just… surprised. You're not usually the one asking for vacations.”

“Do you agree to come with me?”

“Of course I do.”

“In that case, I will proceed with the preparations.”

“You do that. And Spock? I love you.”

“I'll see you tonight, ashal-vel,” the Vulcan responded in a tone who was anything but loving.

With the computer turned off, and once he had processed the information, Jim remembered a fundamental truth about himself: he did not like surprises.

* * *

Jim's shore leave began, and he still had no idea what the surprise was. Not that he investigated, not really. He had called his friends to tell them about his leave, and to determine if they had something to do with it (they had not). He had tried to notice any change in Spock's attitude and daily life (there were none).

Packing his suitcase didn't bring any information either, despite what he had hoped. Spock simply told him he needed nothing peculiar and did not react to what Jim took. And the Vulcan's luggage brought no more light. 

Once seated in the shuttle taking him God, and Spock, knows where, Jim glared at the streets passing behind his window, shaking his legs.

Next to him, Spock was nervous as well. He did not plan this trip on an impulse, he had thought it through and found no ill effect to his decision. He was even convinced of the usefulness of this travel for his husband. He knew, of course, of Jim's aversion to surprise, but had thought the human trusted him enough to temper it. Obviously, he was wrong, and Jim's apprehension may spoil the surprise for him.

The shuttle entered Starfleet's HQ, and Jim stared questioningly at Spock. But his husband didn't look at him, lost in his head. Curious, Jim reached with their bond, and became aware for the first time of the day of Spock's emotional state.

“Is everything okay?” he asked once Spock looked at him.

“Yes, things are going how they are supposed to.”

“You seem…” Jim chose his next word carefully, “... Apprehensive. Anything I should be aware of.”

“As of now, you don't need to be aware of anything.”

Jim recognized the statement for the Vulcan equivalent of “piss off” it was. He did not like it. But before he could push the matter further, and certainly start a domestic argument, the shuffle came to a stop and Spock exited it. Jim had to trot behind his husband to keep up with him, which did nothing to better his mood.

They arrived at a transporter room, and Spock addressed the Lieutenant behind the console.

“We are scheduled to be on dock 22.”

The man answered with a “yes, captain” that Jim barely registered. He grabbed Spock's arm, suddenly realizing what it was all about.

“Dock 22? Spock, are we going to space?”

“Indeed,” the Vulcan answered, his arms neatly folded behind him.

“It is about the other night, isn't it? Babe, you shouldn't have!”

But the smile on the human's face reassured Spock about his decision. The tension between them was gone quicker than it had appeared, and Spock smiled as well, offering an ozh'esta Jim automatically responded to.

“You do not yet know what I have planned.”

“Dock 22 are where the cruises start,” Jim shrugged.

Spock did not respond and stepped on the transporter. His husband followed, and mere seconds later, they were standing in the space station.

This time, Jim walked ahead, believing he knew where to go, until he stepped in a corridor without Spock following him. Silent, Spock indicated the other direction with a tilt of his head to his puzzled bondmate.

They reached a shuttle dock, where a Yeoman was waiting for them.

“Captain Spock, Admiral Kirk, the ship you requested is ready,” they said. “If you would follow me.”

They led them to one of the ships Starfleet gave people wishing to travel space on their own. It was made for short trips, not longer than a week and not faster than at warp 3. The visit of the ship was quick, the control panel and two seats at the right of the door, a double bed, a replicator and a small bathroom at the left.

Once they were alone, Jim turned to Spock. All the things he could say, he wished to say, got tangled in his throat. What found his way out was a lame: “Our own ship, he?”

“I believed you needed the opportunity to be a captain again.”

Jim cupped Spock's jaw. “I'm afraid I've to demote you back to first officer, Mister Spock.”

“That would be adequate, Captain.” Spock leaned in the touch.

They shared a kiss.

Jim sat behind the controls. “So, we have one week to take this lady where we want! Any idea?”

“Actually, I have already chosen our destination.”

“Oh. And I suppose I can't know it.”

“It is part of the surprise.” But, not wishing to sour the mood of his husband, he added: “However, if you rather be knowing-”

“No,” Jim cut him. He is now aware of how annoying he must have been for the last week, even for his patient Vulcan. “I trust you.”

For a moment, they just stare at each other, sharing all they could not say; the apology, the relief, the love; in their bond.

“I still need to enter the coordinates,” Spock eventually said. “I will ask you to not look them up.”

“I won't,” Jim promised.

Spock sat in the other chair, and made the proper setting. “Everything is in order, Captain.” 

Jim grinned. “Let's take her for a ride, Mister Spock.”

* * *

It took them three days to reach their destination. The voyage was uneventful, which was not surprising that far into Federation space. None of them minded, they wouldn't have survived troubles in this ship. She was a nice ship, steady and responsive, but not built to escape Orions pirates.

And they were happy enough, being back in space together.

Jim kept his promise to not look up the coordinates. But he still kept track of their progress.

He inevitably deduced their destination, but hesitated to say so, not wishing to ruin the surprise. However, Spock felt it, via their bond but also simply with Jim's demeanor. It was a little earlier than what he had estimated, but it would not change anything now. He turned away from his panels.

"I believe you have figured out our destination."

"We're going to the Konshu System."

"Indeed. We should reach it in one point sixteen hours."

"You're taking me to see the star being born." Jim's smile illuminated the cockpit.

Spock initiated an ozh'esta. "There will be no complaints from Doctor McCoy, but I can try to compensate by giving a more detailed explanation."

"That will be sufficient, my love." He leaned for a kiss.

They arrived exactly at the time Spock estimated. The space in front of them was black and empty, with no indication of an unborn star.

“The star is in its late state of protostar,” Spock explained. “It has stopped gathering mass, but the molecular cloud surrounding it is still making it non-visible. The cloud should start to dissipate in five point eighteen standard hours.”

Jim still looked, somewhat hoping he would distinguish something despite knowing he won't. 

All that was there was the USS Reliant.

The communication console asked for their attention.

"Incoming message from the USS Reliant, captain."

Jim stood up and readjusted his shirt. "On screen, Mister Spock."

Captain Abdoula appeared in place of the empty space, sitting in the captain chair on her bridge. She was young, not forty yet, and still in the first year of her captaincy. Jim was younger when he was sitting in this chair, he knew, which is why he understood perfectly the annoyance and frustration the captain was feeling right now. Spock and him were either here to monitor her, or two unconscious tourists.

"Admiral Kirk. Captain Spock."

"You can drop the grades, Captain." Jim gave her his more charming smile. It still worked quite well despite his age. "We're just a couple of old men on vacation."

There was a hesitation from her, and Jim knew his invitation to a more casual talk would be denial.

"Like I said to Captain Spock, Admiral, I do not believe this is the best spot for a romantic evening. There is important radiation, and flying objects that can cause you harm. Now that you are here, I would rather you came on board to observe the phenomenon."

The invitation was tempting to Jim. But he would be dull to not realize their presence would be an inconvenience to the Captain and her crew. And it would go against the romantic evening aspect of the thing.

"Captain Abdoula, not only did my husband calculate and put our ship at a safe distance from the radiations, but also at a distance that will not interfere with your readings. You are of course welcome to run the calculation again." He felt a faint indignation coming from his proud Vulcan. "If there is an error, we will move immediately. After that, you should be able to forget about us completely."

Captain Abdoula gave her science officer the order before answering Jim: "I will contact you if there is anything. Otherwise, enjoy your vacation gentlemen."

"Thank you, Captain."

"Live long and prosper," Spock gave her a ta'al. He had a lot of respect for his colleague, and wished he didn't have to put her in a frustrating situation.

As soon as the screen was black again, Spock said: "They will find nothing wrong with my calculations."

"Of course not, my love." Instead of sitting back in his chair, Jim leaned over Spock's. He caressed the Vulcan's hand and whispered flirtatiously: "Which means we have 5 hours alone without interruption. Tell me Mister Spock, did you ever think about sleeping with your captain?"

"It may have happened a few times."

Jim took Spock's hand and led him to the bed.

* * *

The human body could grow accustomed to a lot of things, like sleeping against someone whose temperature was lower than its own. Jim always found the bed too hot when Spock wasn't in it.

Which is why, after Spock stealthy get out of bed, Jim was already half awake when two slim hands shook him.

“The star is going to be visible any moment now,” Spock said.

Jim was too dozy to make sense of the words, but he let Spock guide him out of the bed and to a blanket, lying on the floor in front of the view screen. The Vulcan enveloped their naked body into a second blanket before putting himself in the embrace of two strong arms, under Captain Kirk's protection.

With the screen still black, and the lights of the cabin turned off, Jim dozed off.

“Ashal-vel, don't fall asleep.”

The voice was so soft, Jim wouldn't be able to tell if Spock told it via their bond or simply whispered it.

“But there's nothing to see,” he mumbled into the black hairs.

“This is untrue. If you were able to perceive more colors, you would see the infrared…"

Without bothering to ding up his nose from Spock's hair, nor break out the slumber his body was in, Jim focussed on Spock's ramble, allowing the words to keep him awake.

“T'hy'la,” they eventually said, “open your eyes.”

At first, Jim saw nothing and figured Spock was still worried he was falling asleep. But finally, he caught a minuscule red dot, shining in the dark.

“The molecular cloud is now thin enough to let the red light pass through,” Spock whispered.

The phenomenon happened slowly. So slowly that, even though Spock kept his promise to give thorough detailed explanations, there were just a couple of red dots when he finished, expanding imperceptibly. More than once, Jim closed his eyes longer than he had planned, only to discover barely more dots. It took hours for the first patches of light to finally connect.

And during all that time, Jim and Spock did not move. Of course, Jim felt sometimes the need to change his positions, to shake his legs, but he never stood up or stopped cuddling his husband. Occasionally, Spock would note an interesting phenomenon in the formation of the star, or Jim would make a remark on the shape of a spot, but more often than not, they stayed quiet, fascinated by what they were seeing and content in just feeling the other against them.

Eventually, they were in front of a bright red sphere.

“I never saw something that red,” Jim said.

“When other light waves will be able to pass, it will be less so, and would even have orange patches.”

“Spock? Thank you. For everything.”

“There is no need for gratitude.”

Jim was not able to hold Spock's gaze. It was more than enough to feel the overwhelming love in their bond without saying it in his lover's face.

But shortly, feeling it was unfair he was the only one embarrassed, Jim turned his attention back to Spock, who never stopped looking at him, with a grin. 

Spock recognized this expression. It meant he was going to be childish, and annoying. But the Vulcan already knew he would, illogically, mostly find him adorable and somehow fall a little more in love with him.

“Are you familiar with the concept of 'wishing upon a star', Spock?”

“An illogical human tradition. Stars can not hear your wish, much less acting upon it.”

“Maybe, but I still feel compelled to do it.” He started talking to the young star: “I wish…” He paused and once again, looked at Spock, hazel eyes in brown. “... You will continue to make me happy.”

Spock felt himself blush, and cursed his lack of meditation and that cheesy man he could not stop loving.

“According to the tradition, you just made your wish unfulfillable by saying it out loud.”

“Did I? I believe it has better luck turning true if you are aware of it.”

“A logical assumption.”

In the little cockpit numbing in the red light of a newborn star, they kissed, and loved, and made each other happy again.


End file.
